Smut and Silliness

A blog devoted to ... smut and silliness.

04 May 2005

The Story behind The Story of O

You may have read the book by Pauline Reage and (dis)liked it; now, a French movie about its author is coming to a theatre near you....


Posted by Hello

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the storyline:
A stunning young woman surrenders herself at a remote chateau to her lover's request. She is immediately forced into a world of BDSM. Her submission to the realms of pleasure and pain is total.


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30 April 2005

Britney Spears and Poetry

You know she's pregnant, but did you know about this poetic gem?

Honeymoon Poem
-Britney Spears

A honeymoon at last, to get away from it all
My assistant Fe gave me the call.
I remember it well, as she was smilin'
She said it was called Turtle Island.
I packed my bags light and quick,
Then grabbed my pink dress & favorite lipstick.
We hopped on a plane and took our flight
I slept really well, all through the night.
As we arrive, I turn and look out the door,
People are greeting us right at the shore.
A meal, a shower and some ice cream
Then I threw my man down, you know what I mean!
Magical nights filled with stars
Silence is golden, no running cars.
Private dinners, romantic fires
Little piece of heaven, whatever your heart desires.
Friendly 'hellos' and never goodbyes
When you're having fun, oh, how time flies!
As we sit and prepare to make our part
I thank you, Turtle Island, with all my heart!

26 April 2005

Flower (taken by me, inspired by Georgia O'Keefe)


flower Posted by Hello

18 April 2005

Suicide Girls

The picture below is from the cover of Suicide Girls, by Missy Suicide. My flatmate bought the book on his recent trip to Melbourne.

For more on the book, go to this Amazon link:

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suicide girl Posted by Hello

The book accompanies a hugely popular website of the same name in which Suicide Girls from all over the world post their pictures and tell us about their lives.

To me, a Suicide Girl is a cross between a librarian, the girl next door, and Angelina Jolie. She is a pin-up who is just that little bit different....

And do you have what it takes to be a Suicide Girl?


Link

16 April 2005

Asexual

Could you be asexual?

Some people are outing themselves as asexual, preferring to go to bed with a good book than someone else



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10 April 2005

To the Lighthouse

From my Easter trip to Rottnest Island....

Lighthouse Looming Large Posted by Hello

Alas, no mention of a Tampax....

Had a very quick look at (poet laureate) Andrew Motion's wedding poem for Charles and Camilla. Seems terribly dull. No mention of knickers or even a tampax.....
As interesting as his 'rap poem' for William's 21st birthday.

Spring Wedding

I took your news outdoors, and strolled a while
In silence on my square of garden-ground
Where I could dim the roar of arguments,
Ignore the scandal-flywheel whirring round,
And hear instead the green fuse in the flower
Ignite, the breeze stretch out a shadow-hand
To ruffle blossom on its sticking points,
The blackbirds sing, and singing take their stand.

I took your news outdoors, and found the Spring
Had honoured all its promises to start
Disclosing how the principles of earth
Can make a common purpose with the heart.
The heart which slips and sidles like a stream
Weighed down by winter-wreckage near its source -
But given time, and come the clearing rain,
Breaks loose to revel in its proper course.

05 April 2005

That was quick....

It appears that a successor has been chosen....
Will this be Pope Joan II?

Courtesy, once again, of Laura Posted by Hello

Pope Joan

Pope John Paul II is dead. The Cardinals will be meeting behind closed doors to determine his succesor.

I am reminded of Pope(ss) Joan who may or may not have existed....

Legend has it that she was a talented woman who dressed as a man, moved up the religious hierarchy and eventually became Pope. Her gender was revealed during a public procession when she -- whoops -- gave birth to a child. The people were chagrined. She was stoned to death....

From then on, every chosen Pope has to be felt up in order to ensure that he is actually a he. Well, this the story that I have heard and I am sticking to it.

Supposedly, since her time, any candidate for the pope undergoes an intimate examination to ensure he is not a woman (or eunuch) in disguise. This involved sitting on a chair which has a hole in the seat. The most junior deacon present then feels under the chair to ensure the new Pope is male: "And in order to demonstrate his worthiness, his testicles are felt by the junior present as testimony of his male sex. When this is found to be so, the person who feels them shouts out in a loud voice testiculos habet ("He has testicles") And all the clerics reply Deo Gratias ("Thanks be to God"). Then they proceed joyfully to the consecration of the pope-elect" - Felix Hamerlin, De nobilitate et Rusticate Dialogus (c. 1490), quoted in The Female Pope, by Rosemary and Darroll Pardoe (1988).



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